Alone.

Why is it that the word 'alone' brings such a negative connotation? Alone. Lonely. Lonesome. I feel like I haven't got anyone, and I'm trying to convince myself that it's not that bad.

I've been thinking a lot lately and I've noticed that I've lost touch with the majority of the people I used to call my 'best friends'. Everyone is moving in different directions. It's all becoming a blur and I don't know where I want to be. It's a scary thought. Not knowing where you want to go. Not knowing what you want to do.

I've come to realize that there are certain things I miss. Ideas though. More than actual people. As much as I miss these certain things, and as much as I know people want things to go back to the way they used to be, I am resisting with everything in me to not have a repeat of what used to be.

I think I'm over living here. I'm over the people I associate with. Don't take it personally. A drastic change could do one of two things: 1. Allow me to fall in love with a new environment or 2. Allow me to miss this place and see why I was happy here at one point. I'm not depressed or anything. I'd say I'm just bored with what has come to be a routine. I am ready for something new.

She woke in the morning. She knew that her life had passed her by. She called out a warning: 'Don't ever let life pass you by.' I suggest we learn to love ourselves before it's made illegal.
-- Incubus - Warning

Rant of the Hour

I just realized why I go through best friends like you go through clean clothes. I really don't ask for much, so it really pisses me off when people can't even live up to the little I find as just common courtesy. The past couple days, I've realized that I need to go back to my ways of expecting the least from everyone.

Also, the excitement of partying, flirting with boys, drinking, smoking, etc. is somewhat gone. I'm still down to have a good time, but things just aren't the same. I don't know what changed, but it just doesn't feel the way it used to. I'm pretty much over it. That doesn't mean I'm going to stop it completely, but maybe I just need a change of environment or something.

I'm ready to get outta here. Countin' down the days til July.

a magic win and hearing the words 'im glad you called' were enough to make my day.

2010 Me. (Again).

I hate that the 2010 version of me has feelings. A little part of me actually cares... and it sucks.